On the Rainy River -- Personal Response

Respected by others, or respected by myself?

A life of blood-stained hands, feeling trapped within my own skin,

Or a lifetime free from the shackles of expectation?

Condemned for my cowardice from the ones who love me,

Or honoured for living a lie?

A decision was made on the Rainy River.

I am a coward,

Sentenced to a life of respect and admiration I don’t deserve.

I fought, and I survived,

But a part of me was lost to the fog of war.

On the outside I may stand strong,

Yet my wounds will never heal.

I can not and will not justify my actions,

For a choice I made for the sake of others.

At the most important time in my life,

My courage reservoir was drained dry,

My heroic attributes non-existent.

We won the battle, but I was the sacrifice.

Let my story be told again and again,

Let them shout it from the heavens, despite my betrayal.

I am no soldier, no Lone Ranger,

No secret hero of olden days.

I am simply a man, no more and no less.

My resolve, unfortunately, not strong enough.

I don’t expect to be understood or forgiven,

But this conscience has waited far too long for rest.